


When Loki Met the Joker

by DaDreadedJester



Series: Agents of Chaos (The Joker and Loki) [1]
Category: Dark Knight (2008), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Banter, Crack Crossover, Friendship/Love, M/M, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-13
Updated: 2014-02-13
Packaged: 2018-01-12 07:04:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1183312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaDreadedJester/pseuds/DaDreadedJester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After being transferred to Blackgate Prison, following the events of the 'Avengers', Loki finds himself in the company of that crazy clown that calls himself the 'Joker'. Bickering ensues upon their first meeting... but what if they get along?</p>
            </blockquote>





	When Loki Met the Joker

JOKER: New fish, huh?

LOKI: I beg your pardon?

JOKER: You're the new kid on the block.

LOKI: I hardly see how you'd establish such a notion by comparing me to an aquatic creature. 

JOKER: A brand, spanking new aquatic creature! Besides, maybe I was right; you seem kinda wet. Hehe! What's eatin' ya, kid?

LOKI: Why would you concern yourself with that?

JOKER: Just trying to make conversation. You need your friends in here, toots; but if you'd rather go it alone, that's fine by me. Oh, and by the way, drop the soap and you're fucked... Butt-fucked, if you wanna regard the specifics.

LOKI: Ugh, what vulgarity. Anyway, you seem to be quite alright, alone. I take it you have not... dropped this soap, you speak of.

JOKER: Baby, I drop that shit on purpose! 

LOKI: I don't understand. You bring violation upon yourself? 

JOKER: It's not rape if you enjoy it, sweet-cheeks.

LOKI: Why are all Midgardians motivated by such animalistic tendencies?

JOKER: Uh, what did you just call me?

LOKI: That is your species, is it not, clown?

JOKER: Whatever you say, Severus Snape. Y'know, if you don't mind my saying, you kinda look like you've just soiled your cute little magic-pants, you got there.

LOKI: I am not afraid, if that's what you're implying.

JOKER: Wouldn't blame you, if you were, princess. I mean, if I was gonna shower with a bunch of psychos, with a face that pretty? I'd be scared. Don't worry, honey; I'll make sure no one lays a finger that rather dashing hair of yours! Hehehehe! 

LOKI: I take it they shall remove your... facial attire?

JOKER: Yup. Still, we gotta take our masks off sometime, right? Oh, not to mention the "unorthodox colouring" of my luscious locks.

LOKI: That's unfortunate; I happen to be very fond of green.

JOKER: Well, DUH! You're practically the friggin' green-eyed monster, right? Jealous type, are we?

LOKI: I am unsure of what you are referring to.

JOKER: Jesus Christ! Considering your history, I thought you'd lie a Hell of a lot better! 

LOKI: I would prefer not to talk about it, thank you. Not that you are at all concerned; you are merely trying to find out what "makes me tick" - I believe the phrase to be - by attempting to appear interested in my experiences, in order to lull me into a false sense of security, before finally manipulating me into accompanying you and your fellow "goon squad". After performing mundane, yet necessary tasks - which assist you in your elaborate schemes - I imagine you'd then kill me for kicks. I just so happened to "consider your history". Correct me, if I'm wrong.

JOKER: Huh. You're good. Well, seeing as you know me so well; maybe, you could tell me how I got these scars?

LOKI: I imagine they are self inflicted. 

JOKER: What makes you say that?

LOKI: You are quite insane.

JOKER: Fair point.

LOKI: May I enquire further?

JOKER: Ask all you want, sweetie but I can't tell ya nothin'. Y'see, I don't remember a goddamn thing! That's why I asked you! 

LOKI: You truly have no recollection of your past?

JOKER: Nope. Well, I've got some  
ideas but nothing's set in stone.

LOKI: A life without memories; how I envy you of that.

JOKER: I said you were the jealous type, didn't I? Hahahahahahahaha!

LOKI: Please stop. You laugh too much. 

JOKER: Y'know, somethin' tells me you already dropped that soap, pretty boy.

LOKI: And why is that?

JOKER: Because you, my friend, are butt-hurt. Why is that, anyway?

LOKI: Are you always so insufferably inquisitive?

JOKER: Hehehe! Well, you better get used to that; just wait 'til the white-coats get here. They always have their questions. Shitloads of 'em.

LOKI: You mean... I am being held captive like a common beast, for the sake of mere psychological evaluation?!

JOKER: Yeah... but that's not it; is it, Tinker Bell?

LOKI: It is not what?

JOKER: Why your cute little ass is so very butt-hurt.

LOKI: I'd rather not discuss any of this. Those pathetic parasites can enquire all they wish but they are psychically incapable of appreciating anything that regards my mental state. They have the utter nerve to label my actions that of insanity; whilst hopelessly blind to the fact they are that of pure genius. Why should I strive to gain acceptance from a species as petty and weak as that of humanity? I needn't prove anything; not to them. Not to anyone. There is nothing left to prove, anymore.

JOKER: I had Daddy issues too, y'know.

LOKI: What?

JOKER: Yeah, real asshole. Beat me backways; how he got his kicks. Gotta be hereditary. Hehe! How 'bout you?

LOKI: I don't... I mean, how do you  
know such things?

JOKER: Ah, so it is the father.

LOKI: Perhaps. 

JOKER: Huh. So... What about 'im?

LOKI: It matters not; for he is not my father.

JOKER: Oh?

LOKI: I was adopted. He lied to me.

JOKER: Aaah, now we're getting somewhere! Next you'll be telling me your first childhood memory. Should I get the ink-blots, angel?

LOKI: You enjoy this.

JOKER: Hmmm?

LOKI: You enjoy gaining amusement via others' misfortune.

JOKER: And you don't?

LOKI: My expertise appear to be causing said 'misfortune' in the first place.

JOKER: Oh, then we'd make a fuckin' good team; would we not?

LOKI: Possibly. We may just have to test that delightful, little theory.

JOKER: Hehehehe... Y'know, Snow White, you're real cute when you smile. You should wear it more often. It suits you.

LOKI: Are you attempting to flatter me, clown?

JOKER: Maybe. Why? Are you flattered?

LOKI: That would be telling, my friend.

JOKER: Oh, how 'mischievous' of you.

LOKI: That is, in fact, typical of my nature... if you "consider my history". 

JOKER: Now, that does sound interesting. This could be very fun, indeed. What's your name, kid?

LOKI: I am Loki Laufeyson of Asgard.

JOKER: Well, Princess Loki of Disneyland; "this could be the start of a beautiful friendship." Hahahahahahahahaha!


End file.
